Coping with Thanksgiving

By Tom Horvath, PhD, ABPP

Although many of us have warm memories about Thanksgiving spent with family and friends, there may be some painful memories as well.

If you’re looking for tips on coping with Thanksgiving, and the problems that might arise, consider the following goals:

• If avoiding squabbles is your goal, can you sit on your own opinions for one day? Say nothing, or say “I don’t agree with these ideas, but this isn’t the time or place to discuss them.” Repeat “this isn’t the time or place” as needed.
• If your goal is not drinking, or drinking less, you might need some preparation. Will a family member or two be “in the know” and support you? If you are likely to be asked questions (“why are you not drinking?”) do you have an honest but not necessarily revealing answer to provide (“I decided to take a break from drinking for a while; It’s dry January starting in November,” or “I decided I would be eating so much already I don’t need the alcohol calories as well,” or “I recently started a break from drinking and it is going so well that I am just continuing it.” Brainstorming options with your supportive others can help.
• If you want to avoid taking sides in an ongoing disagreement, you can say “I know this issue is an ongoing challenge for us, but today I want to set it aside and focus on what we have in common, and the meaning of this day. Therefore, I’m not going to discuss this challenge today.”
• If you want to avoid over-eating, you might also need some preparation. All the classic tactics can be helpful: Get smaller portions, eat slowly, don’t start eating until you get to the table, get up from the table as soon as possible, have some post-meal activities to engage in—such as a walk.

As with many of these blogs, much of the information presented here is probably not new to you (but I hope some blogs do have a fresh perspective to consider). When it comes to Thanksgiving, you’ve heard much of it already.

Take a moment beforehand to consider what the high-risk aspects of YOUR holiday will be and prepare accordingly. It is time not just to recall what might work, but to put those ideas to work. Good luck!

Reminder: If you are a Practical Recovery client (current or past), we offer a free one-hour continuing care group by Zoom, which you are welcome to attend. Please call Susie Lee, our admin assistant, at 858-546-1100, to get the link.

Liked this article on coping with Thanksgiving? You might also be interested in: Instant Gratification: This Thanksgiving, Don’t Have the P.I.G., by Thaddeus Camlin, Psy.D.