Neuronal Plasticity, Mindfulness Meditation, and Addiction Recovery by Nicholas A. Nelson, Ph.D. Part 1 of 2 It is not uncommon during active addiction or early in recovery for people to feel that their brain is working somehow differently than before, or to feel like it is going to be impossible to break out of harmful habits and thought patterns. It can feel like the mind is damaged, or operating out of our control. This lack of control, and feeling that something is broken, can lead to a sense of hopelessness. When we look at the brain there is some truth to this feeling - during engagement with problematic addictive behaviors and during early recovery, our brains are not wired in the same way as before these problems took root. Through months, years, or decades of repetiti...

by Lesley Wirth, MA I’m just going to say it: The self-help world needs to reconsider the phrase, “Take responsibility for your life.” Why? It rarely works. It is usually the wrong medicine, offered at the wrong time, to the wrong person. When someone has suffered from loss, injustice, or trauma, telling them to “Take personal responsibility for their reality,” is not helpful. It is damaging. Maybe you've been there: you lay your heart bare to a spiritual coach you believed you could trust, only to have them dismiss your experience by telling you to let go of your "victim consciousness." If you are really lucky, they will ask you what part of you attracted your situation so you could learn from it. I understand people mean well, but words like these can feel like...

By Tom Horvath, PhD Although the following information is very basic, I hope it is a useful reminder for you. You are breathing all the time. With a few minor adjustments breathing can become a powerful tool to support yourself. Start by closing your mouth and breathing through your nose. Probably this step can happen immediately. You can also if you wish focus on the sensation of the air coming in and out of your nose. That focus can also be a helpful distraction technique. Begin to slow down your breathing. It may take many breaths to achieve a significantly slower pace. However, if you can get down to 6 breaths per minute (one every 10 seconds) you have a strong likelihood of lowering your stress level. If you are not sure how to accomplish slowing down, start counting you...

By Tom Horvath, PhD With 2025 now over a week old, we may already be falling short of some of our New Year’s resolutions. Nevertheless, take heart! It is easy to fall into all-or-none thinking about positive change. Please consider the following ideas. Even if you did not make any New Year’s resolutions, you may have thought about self-improvement changes you want to make. The beginning of the year is an obvious time to do so. To the extent you did such thinking (or do it now!), you have acted on step one: identifying a desired change. What actions now make sense? This part is often complicated, but the principle of “small steps” can be very helpful. This may be a time to investigate, experiment, inquire, consult, and otherwise gather information. Keeping mental notes of what y...

By Tom Horvath, PhD “If we have our own why, we shall get along with almost any how.” -Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols, Maxims and Arrows, #12, translated (1954) by Walter Kaufman, originally published 1889. Our Own Why There is a range of “whys” that explain how we behave. We have in-the-moment behaviors like eating (why? “I’m hungry”). As we mature, we also have much longer-term timeframes, such as multi-year educational plans (why? “I want to be an X”), and multi-decade parenting plans (why? “I want to give my children opportunities and an upbringing that I did not get to have”). You can probably recall many examples of how you tolerated discomfort or pain for the sake of a longer-term outcome. I suggest that it is helpful to make a list of these experiences in you...

By Tom Horvath, PhD “We are disturbed not by events, but by our views about them.” - Epictetus, 60-138 CE Bad events happen to all of us. To some of us, they happen to a great extent. Whether we have first-world problems, third-world problems, or something else, our problems focus our attention. We want to solve them. In some cases, solving problems means changing or exiting a situation. In many cases, however, there are no obvious changes or exits to make. What now? These types of problems require a change of “view.” Psychologists and others who help people change their “views” have used many terms to describe what needs to be changed to address these types of problems: perspective perception context viewpoint beliefs point of view interpretation *gui...

Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Using My Muscles to Relax My Mind By Tom Horvath, PhD Have you had moments when you believed “I cannot relax” or “I cannot relax unless I use?” Have you then used or drank because it was your best method to relax? Sometimes we do need to relax! The good news is that progressive muscle relaxation is one effective method that can work as well (with some practice) and does not have side effects. Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) is over100 years old! There is strong scientific evidence of its effectiveness. It has been applied to anxiety, stress, insomnia, depression, sports performance, and other areas. Edmund Jacobson, a physician, developed the technique and wrote several books about it. You can easily find YouTube videos and other sources (such a...

Amanda Eversmann of Life Process Program, on Radical Acceptance in Addiction, Recovery, and Parenting I entered on a ten-year addiction because my mother didn’t radically accept me and I accordingly didn’t accept myself.  I had to first learn to accept myself, and also my children. Then I radically accepted my mom. 1. My Upbringing I remember my childhood fondly. My mom was an 8th grade teacher and taught at the public school next to the Catholic school I attended K-12. My dad worked hard at the Ford motor factory. We were comfortably middle class. My mom was involved in every activity I did.  She was a Girl Scout leader, Sunday school teacher, classroom volunteer. But she and I have different personalities. We butted heads frequently. She can be pretty intense and I am more lai...

By Tom Horvath, PhD I expect that you know everything I am about to write about. However, I hope this blog will be a useful reminder about life and values. A well-lived life is based on values. We act on values we are not even aware of. However, we know many of them. Becoming even clearer about them is worth the effort. Some ways to accomplish that effort is what I am proposing here. If you find yourself, in some part of your life, uncertain about what to do next, it’s time to think ahead. What is a value you want to be acting on? To help identify this value, ask yourself “big picture” questions. What would I ultimately like to accomplish? How would I like to be remembered? What change seems most important to make? If I could be completely in charge, what would I do? What I ...

By Tom Horvath, PhD How well can I calm myself or energize myself using my own abilities? How much do I need to use a substance for help? Although at times a mild sedative (one drink) or mild stimulant (a cup of coffee) can be a helpful tool, the more we rely on such tools the more our internal abilities diminish (atrophy). Daily low doses of sedatives or stimulants can be helpful. As the doses get higher, problems can emerge. In cases of substantial addictive problems, it is common to see someone bouncing between “downers” and “uppers,” sometimes even multiple times per day. At that level of substance use we can lose all sense that self-regulation can be accomplished by ourselves. None of us may reach the ideal of regulating ourselves entirely from our own resources. However, ...