Gaining Strength from Our Successes

By Tom Horvath, PhD

Although occasionally we hear someone say “I’m addicted to everything,” it appears that most of us deeply enjoy only a few substances or activities. You would not have time for all of them!

This fact means that there are many or at least some substances that you do not feel strongly drawn to, even though others may be. For instance, you might like gambling, but not be interested in any substances. Or you might very much like alcohol (or weed, or meth, or opiates, or coke, or ketamine, or various activities, etc.) but not especially be interested in MDMA (or alcohol, or weed, or meth, or opiates, or coke, or ketamine, or various activities, etc.).

How do you do it? How do you NOT get carried away with substances or activities that others find so tempting? However you accomplish it, are you impressed with yourself? I hope so!

It may partly be biology. Some substances or activities may not suit us well. About 25% of the adult population (I estimate, based on audience surveys I sometimes conduct) appear not to like alcohol very much. That disinterest is probably not primarily based on virtue.

However, I suspect that in many cases we exert enough self-control to moderate or abstain, and we do so without enormous difficulty. Again, how do you do it? I suggest that our successes here are worth studying. Unfortunately, if someone has addictive problems, that individual tends to be thought of badly. But in fact, as we have said, you are successful in so many ways!

In your observations of yourself being successful you might notice some of the following responses: 1) Sometimes you don’t even consider the substance or activity, even if it is offered. “That’s not something I do.” Easy! But getting there might have required past effort. Congratulations! 2) Sometimes you might feel a small desire or craving, but you realize it will go away if you wait. And it does. 3) Sometimes you feel more drawn to something else (perhaps a healthy experience, perhaps not). You move on to what you are drawn to, and ignore other options.

Strength from Our Successes: 3 Reminders to Help

All of these responses can be used with a substance or activity you also deeply want. You could remind yourself 1) “I don’t do that anymore” or “I’ve had enough already,” 2) this craving will go away if I wait, or 3) there are other more important things to be doing.

So, remembering how successful you already are, and applying those same methods to areas for improvement, can make you even more successful.

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