By Devon Berkheiser In early recovery, many people face a choice: whether to continue friendships with people who may still be using or to end those friendships in order to protect their own sobriety. This is not always an easy decision to make. Some using buddies may actually be long-term friends, and it can be hard to handle another important loss when you’re already dealing with so many changes in your life. Additionally, you may not have sober friends, which leaves you with the option of going back to old friendships or essentially starting over, which can feel overwhelming. If you do decide to maintain friendships with friends who are not sober, here are tips to help you manage the situation: 1. Evaluate the risk Some using buddies may be supportive of your new sobriety while ...

By Devon Berkheiser, Psy.D. Recovery is a major change that affects your entire lifestyle. When your energy is not spent on obtaining or using a desired substance, you might wonder what to do with your time or how to exist in “normal” life. Additionally, it’s common for people in early recovery to experience something of a slump after the first few weeks of sobriety. Perhaps you were expecting everything to be magically better once you got sober, but instead feel disappointed with the somewhat mundane nature of life in recovery. Although it can be a big transition, there are some things that you can do in order to make the adjustment to regular life easier. Here are 5 tips for getting used to normal life: 1. Learn to tolerate boredom and discomfort While we all want to experien...

Adapted from the SMART Recovery Handbook, 3rd edition, pages 36-37 In Changing Habits: Learning to Cope, we covered the 14 basic strategies recommended by SMART Recovery for coping with urges. Here, we cover 4 advanced strategies for overcoming urges to drink/use/act out. 1. Move Beyond Avoidance Being exposed to triggers can help you strengthen your coping skills to resist acting upon them. Intentional exposure under controlled conditions can help solidify your coping strategy and increase your confidence. Try the following strategy (it may help to bring along a trusted companion for support and guidance): Put yourself in a situation that may trigger an urge, such as the liquor aisle in a grocery store. Use any of the strategies discussed in Changing Habits: Learning to Cope...

Adapted from Pages 32 and 34 of the SMART Recovery Handbook, 3rd Edition With so many people on day two of their 2015 New Year’s resolutions, it seems appropriate to offer some basic strategies for coping with urges that tempt us to give into habits. Whether you’re trying to stop drinking, quit smoking, eat better, spend less, or change any other unwanted behavior, here are 14 basic strategies designed to help you cope with the urges in the days, weeks, months (and sometimes even years) ahead! Avoid – Learn what triggers your desire to act on your habit, and avoid the triggers that lead to urges. Escape – If you are presented with a trigger, escape immediately. Distract Yourself – Try not to focus on the urge. Remember that urges are time-limited, and if you can find something to d...

For many people, summer is the best time of the year. Warm weather, days at the beach, vacations… What’s not to love? But when you’re in recovery, especially early recovery, the pool parties and vacations of summer can be major relapse triggers. Here are some tips for enjoying summer without getting off track. 1. Plan ahead—If you know that you will be attending a party, barbecue, or other event that may be triggering, have an exit plan in place. Drive your own car so that you won’t get stuck there longer than you want to, or bring a sober friend along for support. If you are going on vacation, consider researching some self-help meetings that are available in the area, or use the online meetings that SMART Recovery offers to keep your focus on recovery. 2. Get outside—Summer ...

by Tom Horvath, Ph.D., ABPP We recently remodeled our outpatient offices, requiring us to move everything out to re-carpet. It is challenging to clean up what has accumulated over 10 years! One item I have been saving (available from someone else on ebay, starting bid $3) is a 1970s Borm response golf counter. This very sturdy, entirely metal device straps to your wrist. It will easily count golf strokes, or anything that is expected to occur 999 times or less, by pushing the side pin in about 1/4 inch. Rewinding is a very deliberate activity, so there is no chance of re-setting by accident (as one might easily do with an electronic device). If a change is important enough to us, we often measure it or count it, and then record it. We have records of golf games, bathroom scales...