by Tom Horvath, PhD It seems that almost everyone worries at times. We can think about a problem over and over and not make any progress. Ineffective strategies for worry include telling ourselves to “just stop,” and looking for guarantees or certainty when they are not available. Very little is guaranteed in life, and yet somehow we keep moving forward. Worry can be considered a problem-solving effort that is not working well because we are focused on the wrong parts of the problem. Most problems have aspects that 1) can be dealt with now or cannot be dealt with until later; 2) are under our control or not under our control; and 3) are more important or less important. If you focus your thinking on aspects of a problem that can only be dealt with later, are out of your control, o...

By Tom Horvath, PhD We regularly see criteria for evaluating our health, physical fitness, or financial well-being. If our relationships are the primary source of our emotional well-being (a statement apparently accurate for most people), then guidelines for evaluating our relationships would also be valuable. Having both one or a few intimates, and a wide range of other relationships, is conducive to well-being. We need to have one or a few people we know very well, and then many other relationships that could be meaningful in various ways. We can compare this situation to the specialist/generalist distinction. We need to be a specialist in one or a few areas (often to make a living), but we also need to have much general knowledge, to get along well in the world. The followin...

By Tom Horvath, PhD, ABPP When we experience anguish (despair, heartache, melancholy, sorrow) after a significant loss, the depth of the anguish reminds us of the depth of the loss. Usually, the anguish does not surprise us, but we may be surprised at how powerful it is. Even our bodies can hurt. We feel anxious and confused. We ruminate about the past and imagine “if only” over and over. We neglect ourselves, and possibly others. We fear for the future. We think we need to talk about how we feel, but we don’t know where to start. Most often we think of grief as arising from the loss of a person or a relationship, but grief can arise from any significant loss. Like other aspects of human life, grief is an experience we will likely have several or more times. We will somehow get th...

by Tom Horvath, PhD When we talk about having boundaries, we can talk about managing external boundaries and we can talk about managing internal boundaries. This blog will discuss the management of external boundaries. To better understand external boundaries, it helps to understand the concept of interpersonal boundaries. Interpersonal boundaries are the rules we establish for ourselves about how we interact with other people. We can compare interpersonal boundaries to having a house. The house, with roof and walls, protects us from the outside, and keeps our possessions together. But there are also doors, windows, window coverings, pipes, wires, vents, and so forth, which allow us to be flexible about what comes in and what goes out. In this blog we focus on protecting ourselves fr...

by Tom Horvath, PhD A well-lived life needs to have significant and possibly considerable amounts of discomfort in it. For instance, do you want to exercise well, maintain a certain weight, get up early, work hard at something, or hold your tongue in an intense discussion? You are likely to feel uncomfortable! The key, then, is to learn skills for managing discomfort that will inevitably come. You might also be interested in: Coping with Stress in Addiction Recovery In particular, if you want to stop an addictive problem, you are likely to have a transition period as you change how you live. Cravings might die off almost entirely after 90 days (although there is no guarantee they will completely), but other challenges might last much longer. Maybe you should just give up now? Fortu...

How well am I asserting myself? It is an increasingly competitive world. We need to assert our wants and desires in order to thrive. It is also an increasingly (socially) distant world, and not just because of a pandemic. It is easy to get distracted by the limited connections provided by social media, and not have the richer experience of direct interaction with others. To connect with others we need to be comfortable revealing ourselves. Considerations when answering the question, "Am I asserting myself?" Assertiveness is the direct expression of my experience and reactions, including my thoughts, beliefs, opinions, emotions, and the like, while recognizing that others may have (and have a right to) different experiences and reactions. Assertiveness is a mean between aggressiveness...

by Thaddeus Camlin, PsyD Saying drugs cause addiction is like saying clouds cause tornadoes.  Tornadoes are caused by a complex combination of factors including warm, moist air, changes in wind direction and speed, and an unstable atmosphere decreasing in temperature rapidly with height.  Similarly, addiction is caused by a complex combination of factors, not drugs themselves.  Let us not forget, drugs are not even a necessary component of addiction, as addictive behaviors manifest in the absence of drugs with process addictions like gambling, video games, sex, food, social media, work, etc.   Just like tornadoes require an unstable atmosphere, addictions invariably grow from unstable, often traumatic environmental conditions.  Clouds don’t cause tornadoes, drugs don’t cause addictio...

by Thaddeus Camlin, PsyD Addiction is characterized by a narrowing of behavior patterns.  As a particular behavior begins to dominate others, problems are likely to arise.  Expanding and diversifying behavior patterns is vital to overcoming addictive problems.  Identifying and participating in activities that capture and sustain our engaged interest is essential to well-being, and improved well-being is an excellent outcome in addictive problems and life in general. A lesser known SMART Recovery tool is called VACI, or Vital Absorbing Creative Interests.  When we engage in VACI, neural networks can be activated that promote a state of consciousness some researchers call flow.  Although the human brain remains a highly unexplored scientific frontier, it is not a stretch to wonder i...

Coronavirus Update: We are still seeing and accepting new clients via online rehab. Sessions and groups occur by video or phone. Call 858-546-1100 for details and to schedule. We are presently authorized to work in some other states (in addition to California). Call to find out about your state.  Need intensive treatment, but fearful about going into a facility? Understood! Call us about an intensive treatment option that won’t place you in high-risk situations.  Four Tips for Getting Sober During Coronavirus Pandemic The recent Coronavirus pandemic has all of us working, schooling, and pulling our hair out at home. Just because the world has seemingly come to a standstill, doesn’t mean that addictions have as well. If you were interested in addiction treatment prior to the quarant...

By the team at Practical Recovery Separating libations from social situations in American culture is about as easy as separating hassle from air travel.  A 2017 study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that alcohol consumption is on the rise in the United States, especially among women, older adults, ethnic minorities, and the socioeconomically disadvantaged.  The phrase, "Let's grab drinks," is such a staple of US culture that establishing a natural, rich, and fulfilling social life is a legitimate challenge for those who pass on the party scene.  For those who resist liquid luncheons, thirsty Thursdays, not-so-happy hours, and whiskey sours, it is important to have some ways of staying sober in a “let’s grab drinks” culture. People don’t drink for...