Forgiving yourself in recovery is essential. Learning to forgive yourself is essential as you begin to do more self-healing in your recovery.  We often have a tendency to hold ourselves to such strict standards that we find no reason or justification to forgive ourselves.  Maybe you’ve found yourself in a certain situation, able to forgive someone else for even the harshest of pains yet you may be torturing yourself over a lesser offense. It is common to hold on to past mistakes that we feel are not forgivable out of fear of forgetting the hurt and repeating the behavior. So, we torture ourselves by replaying the feelings, punishment or guilt over and over again.  Staying in this cycle keeps us stuck. It is nearly impossible to truly move through the stages of healing while holding ont...

By Devon Berkheiser, Psy.D. (originally posted March 2015) Discover how you can quit drinking (and using)... for good. Do you want to know how to quit drinking for good? While this can be a challenging task, it is definitely possible to quit an addictive substance and establish a happy, meaningful life in recovery. There is no one way to quit drinking; different paths work for different people. It may take some trial and error to find the recovery tools that work best for you. However, there are some general guidelines that you may want to consider when attempting to quit drinking. Read on for some helpful tips. 1. Make a commitment to change your drinking habits First and foremost, you need to make a commitment to change. Ask yourself why you want to quit drinking. Perhaps ...

With the end of summer comes shorter days, less sunlight, less time spent outdoors and, for some of us, a bit of a negative shift in our mood. Known as the winter blues or even Seasonal Affective Disorder (in more severe cases), this shift ranges from feeling a little down, sluggish, withdrawn, or even depressed, as the colder, darker days begin to replace the rejuvenating days of spring and summer. We all know that taking care of our mental health is a key component of our recovery, that’s why it’s critical we address any negative feelings which start to creep in – including those brought on by a change in the weather. While you can’t control the seasons, you can stave off some of those ill feelings. If your mood is beginning to fall with the leaves outside, try these tips for a ...

One recovery group states, “We know that when your addiction is over, your other problems will probably fade or disappear, and that in a consistently abstinent state, you will find solutions to the problems you face.” Indeed, life tends to get better as you remove a major source of your problems. But some people are really bummed to find out that once they stop using drugs and alcohol, their problems don’t just disappear and they really have to do the hard work of separating using from the stuff of life. In other words, long-term recovery can involve much more than just giving up your drug(s) of choice. It also includes learning how to cope with life’s ups and downs without a glass or bottle in your hand or without turning to drugs. So many of those past associations are strong – for...

By Devon Berkheiser, Psy.D. There are many different tools available to aid in recovery, and social media is definitely one of them! Here are some social media sites that can support you in your recovery: 1. Facebook Facebook is a great way to connect with friends both near and far, including friends who are in recovery. Additionally, you can “like” pages that support recovery. For example, Practical Recovery has a Facebook page that shares inspirational quotes, interesting articles, and other posts that can help keep you focused and feeling good about recovery. 2. Instagram Instagram is another great way to stay connected with your support system, and to seek out new people who share your interests and passions, including recovery. You can search for hashtags such as #sober an...

by Devon Berkheiser, Psy.D. Recovery from addiction is rarely a straight path; for most people, it involves some slips and mistakes along the way. Even though slips happen to most people in recovery, they can be very tough to deal with, eliciting feelings of shame, guilt, and even hopelessness. However, allowing those feelings to overwhelm you can actually lead to further slips and a full-blown relapse. While it can be challenging, it is often beneficial to stay positive after having a slip. Here are 4 tips for doing just that: 1. Challenge Your Negative Beliefs What are you telling yourself about your slip? Perhaps you are telling yourself that all of your progress has been lost, or that recovery is completely hopeless. Maybe you are labeling yourself a loser. Such negative though...

Sometimes as we get further away from our addiction, we begin to notice a disconnect between who we were and who we are. Recovery can bring with it an entire lifestyle change including new friends, new associations, new values and new ways of interacting with our environment. It’s not uncommon to feel as though there is a dichotomy between two versions of our self; a division between who we were in the past and who we are in the present. And, naturally, we might feel as though our past self is out of place in the way we live our life now. It can be tempting to tuck that part of us away; to erase that part of our history and pretend it didn’t happen. And that makes sense – we aren’t that person now and don’t want to be judged based on something some people don’t understand. Maybe we h...

So you’ve begun to get the cravings under control and are starting to rebuild your life. You’re changing habits, changing your thinking and feeling hopeful about the future. As you begin to find more enjoyment throughout your days, you might also be thinking it would be nice to have someone to share all these beautiful things with. But before you jump head first into dating, or a relationship, you need to ask yourself if you’re really ready for dating in recovery. While finding that special someone to share your life with has many benefits, it’s also a big responsibility. Below are four questions to help you decide whether it’s time to write dating into this chapter of your life. 1. Have you given yourself enough time to develop your ideal version of you? Often during active addiction...

By Tom Horvath, PhD, ABPP All species aim to survive. They do so by seeking out some experiences and avoiding or escaping others. The behaviors associated with addiction and recovery can be understood in this larger context of survival, approach and avoidance. The implications of an evolutionary perspective for addiction include new definitions for commonly used addiction terms, and a revised approach to addiction treatment and recovery. Addictive Behavior: Primary addictive behavior is pleasurable survival behavior. All species engage with the environment in order to survive. Depending on the level of consciousness of the species, the repetitive involvement with these essentials is experienced as pleasurable. Survival essentials include food, sex, and in some mammals attachmen...

Deciding not to drink at the summer parties this year? We totally support you. That's why we've scoured the Internet for some of the best mocktail recipes out there. Here are our favorites: Orange Earl Grey Iced Tea Ingredients: ¼c loose tea or 12 Earl Grey teabags Peel of one orange Instructions: Steep tea and orange peel in 4 c boiling water Add sugar and stir until dissolved Add cold water and refrigerate until chilled Serve in mason jars and garnish with orange slices Blended Strawberry Basil Lemonade Ingredients: ¼ c fresh basil leaves 4 strawberries hulled 1 lemon, peeled and halved 4 strawberries, hulled 4 tbsp honey or agave 1/2c-1c ice cubes Instructions: Blend all ingredients together Serve in mason jar and garnish with a...